Peaceful Birth: It Can be Done!

So today we're going to let Jessica get on her "natural labor is awesome" soapbox!  My dear friend Amber gave me permission to share the video of her home water birth... her daughter Riley was born a few days before Christmas.  Not only does watching a birth make me cry (in general) but this particular birth experience makes me cry because of how peaceful and beautiful it was!  And also because she had a girl when she was just sure she'd have another boy!

Amber's experience is such a sharp contrast to the Hollywood version of a screaming panicked mom-to-be yelling at her man to FLOOR IT to the hospital!  (Though that does make for a more epic movie scene, obviously!)  And her experience even trumps my own two natural labors, as I was far from calm and peaceful right before my babies crowned!  

Women often fear the pain of childbirth simply because they have been trained by this western mentality that medications and interventions during birth are the norm.  The hippies want to tell you otherwise!  I wanted to share this hopeful picture of another option to anyone in their childbearing years.  You don't have to deliver in a hospital with a doctor, you don't even have to deliver in a bed!

Decide what kind of birth YOU want (and yes, you can handle the pain, I promise!) and go for it!  Even if people are going to incredulously ask questions like "you delivered your baby in your living room?  In front of the Christmas tree?" Yes.  Yes she did.  And she did AWESOME!

Great job Amber!  Thanks for letting me share your story!  And welcome to the world baby Riley!  

Love, your resident wanna-be-doula.  GO GO HIPPIES!

My First Baby Niece! (And Second Shot at Birth Photography)

If there's anything more magical than being a support, encouragement, and photographer at the birth of a baby then it's being able to do it for a member of your family.  

Not only was I honored and super excited (a dream come true!) that my sister-in-law Cassie would be interested in my birth photography, but I was honored and super excited (thank you Lord!) to actually be able to make it there in time!

You wouldn't think it'd be that hard to make it on time... but it was considering the girls and I were with Aunt Tanya visiting Gram and Pa in Cape Cod when she started labor.  (Oh, and the fact that I usually live half a world away!)  But anyways, I had "a plan" for if she went into labor while I was in Corning... which obviously wasn't going to work out!

Thankfully, I have a wonderful set of old friends in the Philly area and with just a few facebook contacts and phone calls I was able to find someone who was free to babysit the girls over night while I *fingers crossed* got to watch my niece's birth.

So though she "interrupted our weekend" Harper actually came at just the perfect time for Tanya and I to attend.  And she even waited the 9 hours it took us to pack the cars and drive from Wareham, Ma to West Chester, Pa... Cassie met us at the door shortly after we arrived at the apartment to tell us that she was pretty sure her water had broken! So I went into my nephew's room to catch a short nap... which really ended up being 15 minutes of me being too excited to even shut my eyes before Cass decided it was time to drop Xavier off at his babysitter and head over to the birth center after all.

Cassie doesn't mess around with this whole giving birth thing.  She was truly an inspiration!  I could tell by how she was breathing through contractions as we loaded the car that she was definitely feeling pain... but she was delivering naturally (girl after my own heart!) so onward she went!

It wasn't an easy labor for her.  She'd been having strong contractions most of the day and by the time we got to the birth center at almost midnight she was already 6cm!  (For those non-Mommies among us that means she only had four more cm to go... though that can sometimes take hours!)  In just about two hours, she rocked through some really tough contractions and started pushing that beautiful baby right out!  It was incredible to me how fast she went!  

Little Miss Harper Mae Logue was whooshed into the world by her rockstar Momma at 1:50am and I was SO PROUD of Cassie for how AWESOME she did!  (6lbs 10oz, 20 inches for those of you who like baby stats)

I wish you guys could have seen it.  *cringe*  Okay never mind that would have been awkward and rather distracting. What I mean to say is, watching a woman like Cassie at work reaffirms my strong belief that labor and deliver is usually a perfectly normal thing that doesn't need a hospital or pain meds.  It's magical.

[Insert my statement about the obvious need for medical intervention in certain situations.  Like how I'm so thankful that the doctor was able to perform an emergency c-section on my friend's second twin (hi Hilary!) which likely avoided a life-threatening situation for that little peanut!  Doctor's are great.  Surgery is necessary at times.  But let's move on to my hippie-love for when natural labor works out just great...]

It was such a treat to watch Cassie and Mike work as a team.  Childbirth is a team sport, people!  You definitely need people around you who can offer you support.  And if not a doula, then a loving husband, mother, sister, and wanna-be-doula-sister-in-law work just great!

Mike was the primary arm/shoulder/chest to lean on for Cass.  I was just snapping my camera in her face every five minutes... shooting up a prayer... offering a word of encouragement... trying to make her laugh... reminding her to inhale (hey, it's important)... and at times holding her hand.

As kind of a side-note: I've heard of the fact that, if left alone, most babies who are born naturally and left with Mom will gradually nurse on their own.  And I saw it in action!  Harper was crying and started to root around and BOOM.  Found exactly what she wanted and nursed happily for about half an hour!  Even Harper makes this whole birth thing look easy!

Cassie, I can't thank you enough for allowing me into such an intimate moment in your life.  I will treasure this memory forever!  I've said it once and I'll say it five million more times... you did awesome and it was an honor to watch and take pictures!

She makes mighty beautiful babies, doesn't she? 

When I Grow Up: The End (How this Experience Softened My Judgement)

One last post on my doula excitement (for now) and one more look at this adorable little guy.  Because I want to point out the amazing cone head he's rockin'.  

It's from the vacuum extractor.

Let's talk about natural vs. necessary.  I am definitely in the hippie-camp of "a woman's body is designed for labor and delivery and we don't need to be messing around with that process thanks".  I hate it when women buy into the western philosophy that you are somehow "sick" when pregnant or incapable of handling childbirth without extreme amounts of pain meds or needles in your back.  It's just not true.  Most women and most pregnancies are totally normal and don't need intervention.

BUT I'm also in the hippie-camp that can be prone to judging women who do not chose to deliver their babies naturally. And watching Kayla's birth experience really helped me to see that I have to be careful to remember that sometimes the intervention is necessary.

All the good hippies out there will tell you that vacuum extraction is a no-no because it can cause bruising, bleeding, and in some cases even more serious problems (hemorrhage, brain damage, and other scary stuff).  There are also risks to the mother (greater likelihood of bad tearing).  And in some awful situations I've heard about it doesn't even work so you have all these risks and then they have to resort to other scary things like forceps, etc.

Thankfully, Kayla and the Dr. were rockstars and worked together really fast to push/pull little Kendel out safely.  And he didn't experience any serious side effects from the vacuum.  Besides some bruising and that amazing cone head.

So what I'm saying here is that I understand now after seeing a vacuum extraction that there are situations where it is necessary.  I saw it in the doctor's face and so did Kayla, because she asked him why he was worried... and he told her clearly and honestly that he was afraid she was going to run out of energy for pushing the baby out.  So he gave her a few more tries but he said that he felt it was time to use the vacuum to aid her delivery.

The hippies want us all to believe that vacuum extraction is of the devil and that doctors use it unnecessarily because they're bored and want the delivery to be over with.  And I'm sure that some doctors use intervention for inappropriate reasons.  But that wasn't the case here.  And so I want to remember to always keep an open mind when I hear a woman's labor story.  The goal is a safe and healthy baby.  And sometimes the means to that end isn't "natural".  But sometimes it's necessary.  And I'm okay with that now... especially after seeing a good doctor in action.

Okay, the end.  Until the next time I get to partner with Leah and watch another baby be born!

When I Grow Up: Part 3 (In Which I Watch a Baby Be Born)

This is little Kendel.  I was there when he was born!  It was the most amazing experience ever!  One that I am very thankful for... and very lucky to have been able to see.  Shout out to my amazing husband for watching both of our kids AND both of Leah's kids so I could zoom to the hospital to join Leah for the birth.

Kayla (this amazing Momma) went into the hospital because she wasn't feeling well.  And thank God they took her seriously because come to find out she had HELLP syndrome... a very rare and very dangerous situation for a pregnant Momma to be in.

So dangerous that they contacted her husband who was deployed to Afghanistan and flew him home.  She could have died so they brought him to be with her as soon as they could.  

And they induced her labor and put her on all kinds of meds and monitors.  The goal was to encourage her body to deliver the baby asap... but they were also prepared for the worst case scenario of an emergency c-section.

It was a very long and very difficult labor for her.  And very disappointing for her, as she had intended to deliver naturally and without medication... but she was a good sport about it.  So good, in fact, that I was in awe at her composure.  I was a mess when I was in labor with Lily and Sam!  And it was just plain old normal (still hurts like heck, but nothing out of the ordinary) labor and delivery.

But Kayla was on pitocin which I've heard brings on quite harsh contractions.  And she wasn't able to have an epidural for fear that it would cause more complications because of the HELLP.  So she was rocking all of this without ANY pain management!

It was so crazy to watch!  With each contraction, I could see her belly move and my tummy was in knots for her.  And I was just so in awe at her as she breathed through each one and remained calm.  We're talking hours and hours and hours of this!  She and Leah had been up for two days at the point that I joined them.  And Kayla's husband Coty was exhausted because he'd been traveling all day and had just gotten to Germany a few hours earlier.  

So everyone else in the room was dead on their feet (or dead tired in bed trying to have a baby).  And I was fresh and ready to go!  I had thought I would just be there to observe and watch Leah work her magic... I had brought my camera but didn't really know if I'd even use it.  I was just excited to be a fly on the wall and watch this whole thing.

Come to find out I was actually helpful!  Kayla and Leah both said so and I'm going to trust them ;o)  It was a neat feeling to be able to be useful... helping hold and support Kayla's legs or holding her hand or helping her get into a different position.  Passing ice chips.  Getting chapstick.  Staying with her so Leah could eat dinner.  I don't feel like I'm an expert on labor and delivery but I did give birth twice so I was able to remember what helped me relax and stay calm... and pass it on to her.  It was so awesome to support this amazing woman as she gave birth to her first son!

It was a little scary at times.  I've obviously never seen another birth besides my own two (and do you even count giving birth as watching a birth?  I don't think it's quite the same thing!) and I've certainly never seen a complicated birth like this.  But the end, Kayla had been pushing for hours and her body was no longer responding to the pitocin well... so her contractions were strong but coming further and further apart.  And the doctor was getting worried that she was going to run out of energy.  So they had to use a vacuum extractor in the end.

And FINALLY at 2:30am (ish) the little man was born.  And he was safe and healthy and so was his Momma.  And I cried.  I mean, we're not really surprised by that, right?  I cry during Disney movies so why the heck not when I see a brand new baby being born? :o)

And I took pictures.  Which was actually kind of a scary experience for me because it was dark in the room and I wasn't confident in my photography skills.  So some of the pictures are blurry.  And I was all nervous because these are the first moments of this kid's life and I don't want to mess up the pictures!  But Kayla loves them and that's all that matters!  So not bad for my first birth photography experience I guess.

When I got home I couldn't stop thinking about all I'd seen and done that night.  How I got to be there for something so special.  And how I want to be a doula when I grow up!

When I Grow Up: Part 2 (How I Magically Got Invited into the Doula Club)

So I met Leah through Jen.  On top of being a doula Leah is also a fantastic photographer and so her and Jen talk photography all the time... and Leah was trying to get Jen into birth photography but Jen was like "eh I don't think so... but I know just the girl for you."  Meaning me!


Leah and I were just destined to be friends anyways because we're kindred spirits in the area of hippie-ness.  Add to that we are obviously both interested in babies... and photography and cooking and other fun things.  SO the three of us have been hanging out quite a bit... she lives 2.5 minutes away from me so it makes it easy to just hop in the car for a quick picture walk, etc.

Oh, and she needed a babysitter last weekend.  Bingo.  All of her usual babysitters were out of town or busy and her husband had just gone TDY (Temporary Duty aka mini deployment for ten days) to England.

And both of her clients were in labor at the same time.  Go figure that though their due dates were two weeks apart they'd both be in labor the same weekend.  What's that they say about "if it rains it pours?" So poor Leah needed a place for her boys and I was happy to oblige.  The only sad part for me was that I wasn't going to be able to attend one of the births.

But I got to help out and have two fun boys in my house for awhile.  Boys are funny.  They do weird things that little toddler girls don't do...

...Like shout and throw balls in the house and run around outside and watch Top Gun.

And lose TEETH!  A tooth, anyways.

Easton inducted me into the tooth-fairy club ;o)  

This was pretty much how the girls were with the boys the whole weekend... in awe.  Junah and Easton were like built in live entertainment!  It was great!  

So Leah was back and forth from the hospital and her house and my house and her other client's house (one client was at LRMC and the other was a home birth).  Her client in the hospital was actually diagnosed with a dangerous syndrome so she was admitted so they could induce her labor and get the baby out as soon and safe as possible.  

Leah made sure that she was all settled into the hospital for the night and then went to attend the home birth and take pictures.  She got zero sleep that night.  But she got to watch a happy healthy baby be born.  And take lovely pictures it the experience.

But the poor girl in the hospital was really sick and everyone was pretty worried about her.

To be continued...

When I Grow Up: Part 1 (What is a Doula?)

It's official: when I grow up I want to be a doula like Leah.  This is Leah (everyone say HI LEAH!) and she's a doula.  What's a doula you ask?  Well...

The short definition of a doula is that she's someone who is hired by expectant parents to be their support during the birth of their child.  


But that is by far NOT a good enough explanation.  I hadn't really heard of a doula until I moved to the KMC area.  There's lots of babies being born in these parts ;o) so there is also a relatively large network of doulas.  Amber was actually one of the first people to introduce me to the idea.


And I wish I'd had one for Lily's birth!


The way that Leah runs her doula shindig is to be present as much as possible for the mom (and dad) before, during, and after the baby is born.  She will meet regularly with her clients, attend prenatal appointments with them, answer the gazillion questions of an expectant mother, provide tons of information and support, and of course, attend the birth.

Obviously the whole being there for the birth part is a big deal.  I cannot imagine how awesome it would have been to have another woman in the room who knew EXACTLY what was going on when Lily was born.  Jesse and I had no clue what to expect and I was so scared!  My midwife was pretty awesome but also pretty soft-spoken.  I wish I had had someone there to help keep the communication open and clear.  Someone who speaks labor-and-delivery and also new-mom language.

Studies show that the absence of fear in labor leads to an easier delivery.  Studies also show that having a doula attend your birth is pretty much going to guarantee that you're a baby-momma-rockstar.  By which I mean you will be more likely to deliver the baby the way you want.  You know, your birth plan and all?  Your doula will be all over that.  And she'll be with you the. whole. time.  Moms, can you imagine?

Statistically, women who have a doula at their birth are more likely to deliver vaginally and without intervention.  Oh, and faster.  Doula-attended births are usually shorter.  Moms also have a higher likelihood of being satisfied with their birth experience if they have a doulas, no matter how it turns out.  It's pretty amazing what doulas do for a momma!

So basically, I want to be a doula when I grow up.  More like, I want to be a doula when my girls grow up a little.  And when I get the chance to learn a little more about what this doula-ness is all about... Leah's offered to let me shadow her.  More on that later!

But being that kind of support for an expectant mother would be a dream come true!  You already know that I'm all about natural labor and I really feel strongly that if a momma wants to go that route than by george she absolutely can!  And I would love nothing more than to be there supporting her in that.  

(If you're curious for more info check out Leah's website and then if you want a Daddy's perspective check out this blog post.  He's absolutely hilarious!)