Being a SAHM is a choice for many, but I hear a lot of stories from women over here that didn't have much of a choice. When you move to another country chances are you aren't going to speak the language enough to be able to work at your trained profession. And even if you try to work on base, those jobs are hot commodities in a saturated market.
It's tough for military spouses to find good jobs over here!
Not to mention the fact that even if you wanted to be a stay at home mom (raises hand) sometimes it just sucks. In my fussiest moments, I used to call myself a STUCK at home mom. Charming, I know. I wish I had had this advice when I started out as a stay at home mom!
La-Tisha is a Christ-Loving, Yoga doing, business owning, blog writing, “gourmet” cooking wife and mother of the year (every year). She also has a passion for personal development and seeing other moms go for their biggest dreams! Please check out her website or connect with her on facebook.
Finding Purpose Beyond the Cubical:
How I Adjusted to Life as a New Stay At Home Mom
The most important day of
my new life as a mom was the day that I decided to leave my job and stay at
home with my son.
At that point, I had been working since I was about 18 years old. There were even times in my young life that I seamlessly held down 3 jobs all at once. Leaving my position was a huge leap of faith for me. As my last day of work crept up, I was excited. I couldn’t wait to start this new journey in my life. I had it all planned out! Everything would be perfect.
Then, reality hit.
About 2 weeks in, I started having a mild identity crisis. I had no idea where I fit anymore. My husband still got up and went to work every day. My friends did the same. It took me some time to finally find my place inside my home again - a place that didn't involve rushing around the house every morning to get to work, insistently checking email, trying to read the minds of clients who had no clue what they wanted, and navigating the waters between my priorities as a mom and the demands of being an employee.
I'm not saying that I've got it all figured out. What I AM saying is that these are some ways that I've found to reclaim my value outside of the cubical.
At that point, I had been working since I was about 18 years old. There were even times in my young life that I seamlessly held down 3 jobs all at once. Leaving my position was a huge leap of faith for me. As my last day of work crept up, I was excited. I couldn’t wait to start this new journey in my life. I had it all planned out! Everything would be perfect.
Then, reality hit.
About 2 weeks in, I started having a mild identity crisis. I had no idea where I fit anymore. My husband still got up and went to work every day. My friends did the same. It took me some time to finally find my place inside my home again - a place that didn't involve rushing around the house every morning to get to work, insistently checking email, trying to read the minds of clients who had no clue what they wanted, and navigating the waters between my priorities as a mom and the demands of being an employee.
I'm not saying that I've got it all figured out. What I AM saying is that these are some ways that I've found to reclaim my value outside of the cubical.
- Get dressed…
Everyday. And
I’m not talking about your favorite Yoga pants – unless you’re doing Yoga,
of course. Seriously, getting dressed everyday can give you a sense of
motivation. I remember Saturday mornings as a teenager, getting up for
breakfast and putting clothes on. I felt that it was my obligation not to
waste a perfectly good outfit just sitting around the house. That meant I
had to get out and DO something. As silly as that might sound, it’s the
same concept now that we’re moms. Getting up and putting real clothes on
motivates us to actually DO something. Granted, that something might just
be a nice stroll around the neighborhood with the kiddo(s), but hey, it’s
better than nothing! Keeping our routine of getting dressed daily also
helps us feel like we’re good for more than cleaning pureed peas and sweet
potatoes off the living room floor.
- Find a hobby. As women,
we often spend so much of our time catering to the needs of others
(kids, husband, boss, friends etc.) that we forget to look after our own
basic needs. We forget that we need a release from the day-to-day
stresses of life. That’s why I suggest having a hobby. It doesn’t have to
be anything extravagant. Just a little something that you can call your
own. Knitting, crafting, Yoga, running – the list could go on forever. Just
find something that you enjoy doing and that you can do in your (rare)
quiet time.
- Volunteer. Let’s face
it. Just because we’ve made the decision to stay home with our precious
babies doesn’t mean that we no longer have a desire to connect with the
outside world. As a working mom, I always enjoyed connecting with
other adults outside of my household. Whether I was in the office, at the
gym…where ever, really. A great way to continue building relationships is
to volunteer. Not only are you able to contribute to your community, but
you’re likely to meet awesome new people as well. At this point you’re
probably thinking, “Volunteering would be wonderful if I wasn’t toting a
child around on my hip.” There’s a solution for that - sometimes. Some
places in the community (especially the military community) offer child
care for moms and dads who volunteer. If child care isn’t available, keep
an eye out for kid-friendly volunteer opportunities. That way you and your
little one can enjoy the day. If your child is old enough, volunteering
together is a great relationship builder.
- Find other ways
to contribute financially. You can get creative with
this one. There are tons of ways to earn an income from the comfort of
your own home or from behind a keyboard. Are you a crafter? Make your
creations available on Etsy.com. Are you fluent in a second (or third,
or fourth) language? Offer lessons. Are you a wiz at finding the best
deals? Coupon to save your family money. There are also numerous
opportunities to launch a home-based business as well. Research what’s out
there and how you can use your skills and network to your advantage. Put
those your skills and creativity to work for yourself! Trust me, it’s so
rewarding!
- Be present. This is by
far the most important tip. Remember why you chose to leave the confines
of your corporate nest in the first place – that beautiful little angel
staring up at you. Yes, the same one that just puked on your shirt. Yes,
we give up a large part of our identity to become stay at home moms, but
what we gain is so much more valuable. We gain the privilege to be present
in every single moment with our child. We gain the opportunity to sculpt
their values, observe their personality, and explore the world through
their eyes. So, enjoy every second. Enjoy those mid-day naps. Enjoy the
sparkle in their eyes as they revel in the pure joy of Mommy blowing
raspberries on their belly. Enjoy it all.
To say that making the
transition from juggling a traditional job and motherhood to staying home with your
child is difficult would be an understatement. Practicing just one or two of
these suggestions can help ease the stress that comes along with making such an
extreme life change.
What are some of the tips
you would give new SAHMs?
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Thanks so much for the guest post La-Tisha! Your words are very empowering and wise!
If you found her tips helpful, please share this post with a SAHM friend who needs encouragement!
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Thanks so much for the guest post La-Tisha! Your words are very empowering and wise!
If you found her tips helpful, please share this post with a SAHM friend who needs encouragement!
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