Sie sind meine Wunschkinder | They are My Wish Children

All the photos from this post by Kirsten Ashley Photography & Design circa April 2013
a Mother's Day Mini Session that I will treasure forever!

The Germans have a word/phrase to describe Lily and Sam...

Wunschkind

A Wunschkind is a "Wish Child," or a baby you wanted and planned to have. So early on when Julia and I started hanging out, she asked me if the girls were "wish kids" after I had explained how close in age they are. (13 months apart)

I looked at her quizzically... "what's a wish kid?" 

And once she explained it to me, my heart just melted! To have a way to perfectly describe the spacing of my kids is just so cool!

If I had a quarter for every time someone asked me if they were twins, I'd be so rich.

Also if I had a quarter for every time people asked me if their age spacing was intentional.

Which is always such an awkward question... I know it's harmless and people are just curious. But dearest stranger in the grocery store, do you really want to know the intricacies of my plan to conceive my children? Also, your stealthy stink eye isn't fooling anyone - I know you think I don't know how to use birth control. Thanks for that.

The truth is I wanted these two babies close. I wanted them badly. I didn't get pregnant with Lily right away when we started trying, like I'd hoped.

And though 3-4 months is hardly worth worrying over when trying to conceive, for someone who is so excited to be pregnant and has friends getting pregnant all around her, that negative sign on the pregnancy test still stings.

Lily's pregnancy was so awesome. And her infancy was also amazing. She was an easy baby... which DEFINITELY impacted my fateful words to Jesse, "Hey this is so great, babies are easy! Want to have another one right away?"

In hindsight, I had no idea what I was actually getting myself into. You can't be a mom for three months and honestly think you know something about what that's going to look like in two years. But hey, ignorance is bliss and one thing led to another and WOW I was pregnant way faster the second time around.

And the rest is pretty much history. Two years back to back of pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and lots of diapers... lots and lots of diapers...

But I wouldn't change it for the world! 

I love these two crazy monkeys. I call them Double Trouble for good reason. But they are also so sweet I could eat them up. They love each other so much. And I love them so much it hurts.

There have been times in the last five years (many times) where I have wondered if I bit off more than I can chew. Classic Jessica move - taking on too much at once.

But that doesn't change the fact that they are my wish children! 

Thank you, German language, for so perfectly putting that into words for me.

Adventures in Deutsch | I Love My Kids, but Not in a Creepy Way

So apparently there are two different ways of saying "I love you" in German. And there are appropriate and inappropriate contexts for each phrase.

And guess who's been messing that up for the past three and a half years? This girl.

Oops!

Reason #532 it's important to learn German from an actual German. (blog post about that right here.)

For example... I love my girls, oh yes I do.

But NOT in the same way I love THIS GUY. Tracking?

In English, I guess we just know from context whether we're talking about romantic love or... what would you call it? "Normal" love?

Anyways, obviously there's a difference between the kind of love you love your kids and the kind of love you love your LOVE. 

Whew that sentence was a doozy... still with me? ;o)

So to say "I love you" to your kids you say, "Ich habe dich lieb" (lieb is pronounced leep)

To say "I love you" to Prince Charming you say, "Ich liebe dich"

You do not, generally, say "Ich libe dich" to anyone other than Prince Charming. Apparently that gets you a confused look from real Germans. They're like... she loves her kids? Eh? *facepalm*

Have you had any funny adventures in a foreign language? Please share in the comments so I feel less like a dork! 

Busy Moms of the KMC: The First Step to Really Learning German

The first step to really learning German is to take a class. With a live human being teaching it.

Bonus points if said human is funny and helpful and encouraging.

Since starting my German language class at Grace Studio this semester, I'm actually learning German. Which seems kind of obvious, but seriously, it's significant. In the three and a half years I've lived here, I've dabbled in Rosetta Stone and a little bit of Pimsleur.

I've also given up at various points.

I was sad to do it, but I knew I needed to cut myself some slack while the girls were little - I'm pretty sure it's relatively impossible to master a second language with two under two. 

But I really love our host nation and I always cried a little inside that I was "that American" who lives here and never learns. So so lame.

So, since both girls are at German kindergarten most of the day now and since I'm working for Jenny Doyle as Grace Studio's photographer, I am getting my language learning butt in gear.

You will not believe how much I love German class with Jenny. 

I seriously regret not making the time to take a class earlier. I feel like as I learn more and more from Jenny, I'm a caterpillar turning into a beautiful German-speaking butterfly Schmetterling!

I've been finding myself going out of my way to work what few German phrases I have memorized into "normal" conversations with the Germans around me. Being able to speak more German makes me so much more courageous when I am out and about in this beautiful country. 

So seriously, my advice is to sign up for a class at Grace Studio. You might be the kind of person who can limp along with Rosetta Stone, but you're seriously going to crush it with Jenny.

And if you don't live in the KMC but you want to learn a language, find yourself a native speaker and start talking!

Do you live in another country? How did you best learn the language? If you live in the KMC, do you agree that it's almost unfairly easy to be lazy here since everyone switches to English for us so quickly?

I Have Proof That I Pronounce German Very Well... All Five Phrases

So I'm going to brag today about how well I pronounce German.  But before I do let me clarify that I know about 2.5 German phrases.  I mean, they're all the important ones...

"Do you have a menu in English?"
"Where is the child changing room?"
"Do you have two high chairs?"

Um.  And that's pretty much it.  The changing room and high chairs aren't even that relevant anymore because we don't really need them as much.  (MAN my girls are growing up fast!)  Oh wait I also know how to tell the cute little old Germans who always stop to ogle at the girls that they are 2 and 3 years old, yes they are sisters, no they aren't twins. Etc.  And I have my girls trained to say "hallo"(hello) and "tschüss"(bye) like pros, which earn me major points with the locals.  American preschoolers dishing out German words = I am now the coolest American Momma on my street.  At least according to all the old ladies ;o)  Anyways, moving on the what I CAN say.

Boy do I rock the "Do you have a menu in English" phrase.  To the point where I have had two really awkward/funny experiences in restaurants in recent months.  I don't even know if I say it correctly!  But apparently I pronounce it so well and with such confidence that this happens...

Funny night #1: out for my birthday with Kirsten.

Me: (in German) Do you have a menu in English?
German waitress: (in German) Sure do you want one or two?
Me: (deer in headlights while I try to process what she just said cause I don't really speak German) Uh...
German waitress: (switches to English) OH! I thought you spoke German! You speak very well!
Me: (nervous laughter) (also switching to English because I am out of all my relevant German phrases) Yes, two English menus please!
Awkward.

Funny night #2: at Trier for dinner with Mattea.

Me: Do you have a menu in English?  (Maybe this is my problem!  I should probably start asking for TWO menus in English!)
German waitress: (Brings me a German menu and brings Mattea an English menu) Asks me (in German) what I want to drink.
Me: (I kind of understood her and I know my German beer enough to order in German... but I knew something was up when she left and I looked at my menu and couldn't read it.  Crap!)  (I shared with Mattea)
German waitress: (in German) asking if we're ready to order.
Me: (in English, because as previously stated I never learned any other helpful restaurant phrases!) Ordering my meal.
Waitress: (obviously confused at this point, as she's switching from German to English and back)
Me: (let's just clear things up for her and start talking straight up English to reveal that yes, I am an uneducated American who speaks JUST ONE phrase of German really well.  You can have this dang German menu back cause I can't read it!)

PS that was the best goulash I've ever had!  

Okay so you can see the confusion.  Maybe I should just stop trying to show off by spouting off my menu phrase and just throw myself right under the bus by asking IN ENGLISH if they have an English menu.  Cause let's be honest folks, if they don't have an English menu I'm just going to have to guess anyways!  We're talking, restaurant-Russian-roulette.  And Jesse and I have TOTALLY been there... where we each randomly pick a menu item.  In that instance, I was happy and Jesse was not.  Poor guy.

Anyways this brings me to the confession that I do still regret sometimes that I didn't try harder at good old Rosetta Stone or take an intro German class when I got over here.  But alas, when one is potty training two children at the same time and still cooking from scratch and learning photography and trying to make time to read and skype home and oh yeah, blogging... oy veh.  Not much time for learning a second language.  

Sorry Germany.  I do love you.  Really I do.  But "haben sie einen speisekarte in englisch?"

Adventures in Deutsch: Board Book Confusion

Grandma and Grandpa Williams (Jesse's grandparents from Florida) sent some birthday money awhile back (eh, on the girls' birthdays!) and I finally decided on two new board books.  I went with two German ones from Globus because Aunt Cassie got them an Eric Carle book in German and we love reading it together. 

So in the spirit of exposing us all to as much German as possible, I picked two "matching" books for the girls and continued on with my shopping.

"Uh, Momma?  I don't understand this book..."

"I know, Baby, it's in German."

"No Momma, she's right.  Something else is amiss here..."

"...what's a pacifier?"

Hehe, oops.  Apparently I grabbed two related books about a boy and a girl who are preschoolers still using pacifiers.  But my girls never used paci's so not only will none of us ever truly understand these books because of the language, but the two of them will look at me with blank stares when I cheer "Yay Jakob gave up his paci like a big boy!"

Moral of the story:  Take your pocket dictionary with you when picking out children's books in another language. 

Sickness update - Jesse's still feeling icky but the girls have it the worst.  This picture pretty adequately describes it... they just feel terrible.  Lily is especially out of it today because of her congestion.  Both of them were up a lot coughing the past two nights... but I think they got a little bit better sleep last night.  And thankfully they are both napping well this afternoon (not the case yesterday).  

I'm really thankful that I'm not sick... but even so, nothing tests my patience more than sick children.  I know they're sick and I know what that feels like but for some reason I just can't stand the whining!  Lily is especially bad at being sick.  

As I listen to her whine, cry, and whimper, though, it hits me: ohmygosh she's exactly like me.  I'm a terrible sick person!  No one wants to be around me when I'm sick because of how miserable I make everyone.  So I'm just praying for the strength to give out extra snuggles instead of extra scoldings... cause I totally get it.  And maybe I'm declaring every day pajama day until the get better and maybe I'm counting down till their bedtime, but I am trying really hard to be a loving Mommy to my sick girls.

I can't wait to have them happy and healthy again!

Cookie Delivery, and the Resulting Embarrassing Moments

So I've been feeling a little crunched for time the past few days and I've had the cookies all packaged and ready to go to the neighbors since Monday.  The original plan was to deliver to the four neighbors we know best (which can be loosely interpreted to mean the four in closest proximity to us who at least wave at us in a friendly manner) on Thursday as a family.

But it was raining, as seems normal for this December.  So instead, I put Sam down for a nap and left Jesse and Lily to watch music videos on the iPad while I hurried to drop the cookies off.

I was so unprepared.

Neighbor #1:  Lilo.  The only embarrassing thing about this was that she didn't understand why I was giving Christmas cookies when it wasn't Christmas.  Hard to explain to a partially deaf 85-year-old sweet German lady that I'm just trying to be nice but I really don't want to be delivering cookies on Christmas Day :o)  She was also really excited for the framed black and white picture of her, Lily, and myself.

Neighbor #2:  The Garden Neighbors.  This was the trickiest and most embarrassing.  But it comes in two parts... here's part one.  (They don't speak English.)  I was thinking that if they didn't come to the door I could just leave the cookies on the step because I had attached a note that said "Frohe Weihnachten, from Jesse and Jessica Aiduk".  But I wasn't sure they'd know who we were, since we've never officially met besides saying "hallo" and such... and they like to flirt with my babies, as all cute old people do.  So I also wrote our address underneath so they'd know it was from us.

Neighbor #3:  The Ehmans.  She practically dragged me into her house.  I wasn't expecting this.  I thought I would just be dropping cookies off and heading on my merry way.  She introduced me to her husband, who also remembers a little English from his high school years.

Let me interject here with an aside.  Can we talk about how amazing it is that they still know English?  I mean come on!  I took Spanish in high school but that doesn't mean I can carry on a conversation!  They're almost 75 years old!  They act like it's no big deal... "yeah we learned some English over fifty years ago so we're a little rusty".  Oh yeah?  I learned some German about five minutes ago and I already forgot it!  Sheesh!

So she seemed so excited to show me around her living room... which included a tour of her lighted Italian nativity set, the view from their house (everyone on our street has an awesome view), and a balcony tour of their garden.  They thanked me for the cookies and I felt like that seemed a good time to say I'd better be on my merry way (in a more polite way... I think.) but that's when it happened - she asked me if I'd like to sit down for a cup of coffee or tea! 

If you're wondering why I would be freaking out about a simple cup of coffee (which I accepted) was because under my beautiful cream pea coat and pretty red scarf I was wearing... my pajama shirt!  I just wasn't thinking I'd be asked to take my coat off, so I threw on a pair of jeans and my coat and scurried out the door.  Oh also, it was slightly embarrassing to take of my hat and reveal my greasy hair to the world... but what was I to do?  They practically giggled when I agreed I'd stay... both of them scurried about getting the coffee ready.

I just tried to smile and remember that they probably didn't even notice what I was wearing... and I managed to keep my scarf on so they couldn't read the writing of my U-12 soccer shirt from at least 14 years ago.  Hard to believe I own and wear a shirt that old.  Harder to believe I wore it for fancy coffee at my neighbors.

I say fancy because they served my coffee in a beautiful cup and saucer while setting a lovely little platter of chocolates in front of me!  Just me.  That was a little weird... I had to try to be polite while listening to their fascinating life story and also eating a chocolate or two in between their questions to me.  It just felt weird drinking and eating in front of them when they weren't, you know?

When I was finally allowed to get my coat back on (whew!) they thanked me profusely for the cookies and sent me on my merry way.  I called Jesse while I was on my way down to this side street that gets you up to the Upstairs Neighbor's house.  He just laughed.

Neighbor #4:  The Upstairs Neighbors.  So remember that these guys are the ones that technically live on the street behind us, but because we all live on this awesome hill, their garden boarders our backyard and is also above us in the typical German tiered fashion.  But like I said, there's a sidewalk that I discovered that can take you up there.  As I was approaching their house I was getting a little nervous because they don't speak English either.  I saw Mr. Upstairs walking into his house so I waved and held up my plate of cookies.

Again with the dragging me inside.  I was really getting nervous at this point... at least the Ehman's speak English!  As I entered the door and passed on my holiday greetings to Mrs. Upstairs I was greeted by a young woman.  And I thought, "The younger generation of Germans usually speak English... I might be saved!"  And sure enough, Sabina, their daughter who was visiting them for lunch from a neighboring village, was our translator.

But again with having to take my coat off!  And this time it was even worse because they had a roaring fire in their living room and there was no way I was getting away with leaving my coat on.  Mr. Upstairs insisted on taking my coat and scarf to hang up.  Ugh.  With the pajama shirt... really, Jessica?  

Oh well, I just visited away and ignored my embarrassment.  And drank carbonated mineral water (so very German) and had small German cookies (again with being the only one eating and feeling weird about it!).  Sabina was very friendly and I was so glad she was there because I was able to thank them again for sharing their vegetables this summer.  We were able to exchange names (they really wanted to know the girls' names!) and they are now Harold and Mrs. Upstairs to me.  Just kidding it's Harold and... blank.  Because her name was really difficult to say and so difficult to remember... but I will learn it eventually and get back to you.

It was fascinating to talk to them.  And even more fascinating because of how excited they were to talk to me!  So much smiling going on!  When we were done Harold got my coat and helped me put it on!  So chivalrous!  He also led me down through his garden to show me the path they usually take directly to my backyard!  And Sabina relayed that I am more than welcome to use it in the future.

Sorry Brother (and anyone else who dislikes wordy posts), I know this is a long one.  You don't have to finish if you don't want to ;o)  I'll be back to my regular scheduled, short, and well-illustrated posts soon!

But part two of Neighbor #2 is as follows:  I was getting ready for dinner at Paula's and was a bit nervous as I thought "Oh no, what if they don't use the door I placed the cookies by?  What if they're cookies rot and aren't discovered till Spring?  What if they think I just played a big mean practical joke on them?  Maybe I should call Lilo and have her call them and explain the situation for me..."  Then I heard Jesse talking to someone in the living room.

I ran out (thank the Lord I had showered and changed out of my pj shirt!) to see Mr. Garden!  With my plate of cookies!... ? .... Crap.  Jesse explains quickly that he *thinks* Mr. Garden thinks the cookies are meant for us because he kept pointing to our name and address.  OOPS!  And of course I was flustered so any helpful German phrases that I might have known/remembered went right out the window.  I just resorted to universal "sign language" and somehow we awkwardly came to the understanding that they were for him and his wife... he was very thankful :o)

So lesson for next year:  Take the kids.  Take a translator.  And for heaven's sake don't wear your pajama shirt!

The end!

Another Adventure in Deutsch!

Once upon a time, Jessica had a real live conversation with a real live German lady... using MOSTLY GERMAN!

Right at the beginning of our walk today we were stopped by a cute little old 80-year-old lady.  She had pushed her walker (!) off to the edge of the sidewalk so we could pass and she could sit and rest.  But no one can let two smiley little girls pass by without chatting to them... so we ended up talking to her for ten minutes! 

She lives right down the road from us and had walked down to the cemetery to put flowers on her husband's grave (sniff...).  It takes her a long time to walk because she has to stop often to rest.  I already knew this actually, because I had seen her over an hour before this on her way down the road. 

I told her that we were Americans and my husband was Air Force at Sembach.  That we'd been here 5 months (has it really been that long already?) and will be here about 3 years.  We talked about the girls and how old they were... she mentioned it was funny how much hair Lily had but how Samantha had none (ha ha lady) and how much work it is to have two small ones.  Her two grandchildren are in their twenties. 

We talked about how I was walking down to Wasgau for some fruits and veggies and how the girls were going to be tired for their nap when we were done.  She laughed at Sam sucking her thumb.  And taught me how to say thumb... but I forgot ;o)

She said if I ever see her sitting outside her house to stop by with the girls and say hello.  She told me she has many flowers they can look at :o)  I told her I would (unfortunately, I have no clue which house it is!) and we parted ways with "have a nice day".

Seriously... she only used a few words in English!  And I used many more German words than I realized I knew!  I learned all that stuff about her and communicated all that stuff about us just limping along with her broken English, my broken German, and that good old universal sign language/gesturing.  It was so cool!

So I'm definitely a believer in Rosetta Stone now.  It's kind of lame and repetitive and boring and I have to force myself to try to do it at least four times a week.  I don't like practicing my German.  But I love being able to talk to little old German ladies. 

So bring on the Rosetta Stone! :o)

Adventures in Deutsch

These three events all happened at Globus earlier this week.  Apparently having two sweet babies with me all the time makes me a target for conversation... especially with the cute old folk.  I need to keep working on my Rosetta Stone!

(And a note to anyone who can actually speak German... I'm going to type things out the way they sound in my head, not necessarily the way the are supposed to be written!)

Adventure 1

Sweet little old German lady:  Gobbldy gobbldy gobbldy?
Me:  Er... ich spreche aine bischen Deutch?  (I only speak a little German?)
Sweet little old German lady:  (smiling) Gobbldy gobbldy schoon gobbldy... jungen gobbldy madchen? (At this point I recognize schoon with means pretty and I know jungen and madchen are boy and girl)
Me:  Madchen.  (Motioning to Sam on my back)  Svie Madchen (motioning to Lily in the cart... svie = two)

Success!  I just told a sweet little old German lady that I had two girls.  Yahtzee!

Adventure 2

Me:  (getting nervous as I wait in line to order some chinese food)  Sprechen zee English?  (Do you speak English, to the lady behind the counter)
Her:  Nine.  (No.  Dangit.)
Me:  One plate bitte.  (Kicking myself for not knowing the word for plate... or remembering that the word for one is ainse or eine or something like that!)
Her:  (Looking confused... then points to the meat selections one at a time... I pick shrimp)
Her:  Gobbldy gobbldy reis gobbldy gobbldy?  (By her gestures and the fact I know reis is rice, I knew she was asking if I wanted noodles or rice... and rice is easier to feed the girls)
Me:  Reis.
Her:  Gobbldy gobbldy gobbldy?
Me:  Er...?
Kind German gentleman next to me leans over:  She wants to know if you want it with spicy sauce or sweet sauce.
Me:  Sweet!  (And many danke shoons to the kind German gentleman)

Not so much of a success.  If that guy hadn't helped out, I could have ended up with spicy food, which if it was too hot would have been difficult to feed the girls.  Thank goodness for kind strangers!

Adventure 3

Cute little German couple sitting at the table next to us:  Gobbldy gobbldy gobbldy?
Me:  Er...

They were gesturing to the girls, but I didn't have any clue what they were asking cause I didn't recognize any of the words!  And they didn't speak English and didn't really ask many more questions... but they smiled at the girls through the whole meal and Lily made up for my lack of communication skills by waving sweetly at them.  Made their day :o) 

Adventures in Deutsch

Deutsch = German

There is something extremely motivating about the immersion approach to leaning a language!  Our maiden voyages at attempting German have gone okay thus far.  I think our hotel friends are proud of us for trying.  Jesse said "tschuss" (the cool way to say bye) to the girl at the front desk last night and she did a double-take!  Then I asked for coffee in German this morning and she patiently listened with a big smile on her face as I stumbled through it.  I asked her (in English) if I said it right, and she said a bunch of stuff I didn't catch... but the general idea seemed to be "good job!"

On our walk I kept saying "guten morgen" (good morning!) to people that we passed, but I switched to "morgen" once I realized that's all they were saying.  I'm a copycat, what can I say?

My first epic fail so far was this morning with the housekeeper.  She's a sweet older lady and I ran into her in the hall after our walk and asked if she was done in our rooms.  She was still working on another room, so she asked if it was okay to come in when she was finished... sure!  So I put SJ down for a nap, tossed some toys in LJ's direction, and sat down on the floor with my German phrasebook.  I wanted to see if I could figure out how to ask her if I'd sorted the trash/recycling properly (more on this in a minute).

When she comes in and starts taking care of the trash I proudly spout off my newly learned phrase... but to my dismay she doesn't understand!  I hurry back to my phrasebook only to hear her say something to the effect of "I don't speak any Deutsch, I'm from Kosovo."

ALAS!  Since I definitely do not have an Albanian or Serbian phrasebook, we happily switched to broken English and signing/pointing.  Oh, the wonders of universal signs (think: baby sleeping in there...)!  Also, I was surprised how much I did learn about her... she's living here with her grown son and he has a little baby like Sam! :o)

She was sooooo nice... but I will have to find someone else to practice my German on!