The Saga Continues: In Which I Try Desperately Hard Not to Get My Potty Training Hopes Up

So. So... I have a chronic problem of getting my hopes up way too soon in pretty much all areas. But if you've been reading for the past two years you know potty training has NOT gone according to said "me getting my hopes up."

I blame Lily.

And yes, I'm allowed to blame her. I earned that right when I gave birth to her and also when I got her pee on my hands for the 504,892nd time. (I will blame Sam, too, but mostly it's Lily, and here's why)

You see, Lily totally played me when she daytime trained BEFORE TWO YEARS OLD and in like two weeks! "This is so easy!" I thought. Psssssht.

Okay so now I know better. You can stop laughing at me. BUT. But...

Last night both my Potty Princesses woke up dry. In panties. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Okay this is me reeling it in and reminding myself that because I'm risking a small blog post about this they'll probably both pee tonight but whatever, this is exciting! Lily was the one who finally asked to wear panties at night! And so we plunged ahead with both of them just to see how it'd go!

A HUGE difference now is that both of them wake up after wetting the bed. They are upset, they are grossed out. This may not sound like a good thing, but it is. Because last time we tried this cold turkey business Lily would get a rash on her whole body from sleeping through the accident until morning. So yes, I am hopeful that this is a good sign. 

I kind of feel like I'm cheating a little because I wake them up for a brief potty visit before I go to bed and then I decided to start setting my alarm for 4am to catch Sam... after she woke up wet pretty consistently for a few days in a row between 5-6:30am. But then I thought back to when I was daytime training them and I literally forced them to just TRY to sit on the potty about every half hour for the first few days till they got the hang of the routine. So I'm viewing this 4am thing like that. Just helping her get in the habit.

And it sure beats soggy pull-ups and/or extra loads of pee-pee laundry.

You know you're a mom when a) you talk about pee in public (hi, internet!) and b) you celebrate lack of pee. Three cheers for Double Trouble! I shall resist day-dreaming about throwing the rest of the pull-ups in the garbage and making plans for the potty-party!

It's not over till it's over! ;o)

The 6 Stages of Potty Training Double Trouble

Potty training these two has not turned out how I would have expected.  But I'm trying to remind myself that "how I would have expected" is only because I'm comparing my kids to other people's kids.  

And my kids are not their kids.

Specifically, THIS KID is not their kid.  Lily is proving to be a difficult one.  She's made me feel like potty training is going to go on forever!  Which is so strange because she rocked Stage 1.

To clarify, I have found that there are 6 Stages of potty training in this house.  It's what happens when your kids are 13 months apart:

Stage 1:  Train kid #1 to stay dry during the day
Stage 2:  Train kid #1 to stay dry during naps
Stage 3:  Train kid #2 to stay dry during the day
Stage 4:  Train kid #1 to stay dry during the night
Stage 5:  Train kid #2 to stay dry during naps
Stage 6:  Train kid #2 to stay dry during the night

We are happy to announce that Sammy has completed Stage 5!  She got 12 stickers on her dry-nap chart and we're going to a family movie this weekend to celebrate her success!

But I have to confess it frustrates me that Lily has stalled out at Stage 4.  I wanted Stages 4 and 5 to happen at the same time so we'd be down to one diaper at night for Sam.  But Lily just doesn't seem to be able to do it.  I'm relatively sure it's that she sleeps through the urge to get up and go potty at night.

In almost a month of night-training for Lily, she's only gotten 4 stickers for dry  nights.  And some of those stickers only happened because one of us woke her up for potty breaks in the middle of the night!

For the first three weeks of it we tried cold-turkey... and I changed her sheets at least once a night if not more.  Fun (annoying) fact: she started to pee in her bed and then get up, change her panties, and relocate to Sammy's bed. And then she proceeded to pee in Sam's bed, too.  So on more than one occasion I was changing both sheets.

We took a break from training during hand-foot-mouth disease week.  In which time I discovered that the off-brand pull ups cost the same as the off-brand diapers I was using.  So we started trying again... this time with pull ups.  So Lily has the option to use the potty at night on her own, and Momma doesn't have to do as much pee-pee laundry.

Sometimes I suspect Lily and Sam will night-train together.  And I don't know why that bothers me! When I gave Lily her first pull up this time around, it took about 2.5 seconds for Sam to take her diaper off while Lily was taking a potty break.  You try telling a two and a half year old that she is supposed to pee in her diaper when her big sis gets to use "Panty Diapers" (as Sammy calls them) ...and use the potty whenever she wants.  Yeah, right.  They act like potty breaks at night are a privilege!  

And yet, no one really stays dry.  They just drive me crazy taking 20 bathroom breaks from 7-8:30 when they're supposed to be sleeping.  At least they're trying!

So I guess it's pull ups for all, for now!

It's a process, right?  Every kid is different, right?  I'm trying to get a thicker skin about potty training.  I get comments from other Moms... surprised, almost condescending comments about how I should try this and such trick with Lily.  Or how their 8-month-old stays dry all night.  Surely they're exaggerating or their kid is just a super-baby.  

But my two are happy to pee in their pull ups most nights.  And even though Lily is approaching her 4th birthday, I have to be okay with that.  You can lead a 3 and a half year old to the potty at night, but you can't make her pee.  My day for the Potty Party will come.  And it will be a glorious celebration.  I'm thinking of adding a pull-up-burning to the list of activities ;o)

So to any other Mommas out there who are getting impatient with their potty trainees, I'm with ya.  But let's keep being patient, okay?  Our Monkeys don't seem to care, so why should we?

Three cheers for letting kids be kids.  And not stressing the small stuff.  In five years I won't even care about potty training or diapers or pull ups or wiping anyone else's butt.  And I'll look back at myself during this stage and chuckle.

This is a short parenting stage.  And I can handle it.  Stage 4 and Stage 6 will be completed at exactly the right time. When my girls are ready!  In the meantime, I'm going to channel my inner chill-Mom and stop trying to force things.

Potty Princess Update

It's official folks, we are one step closer to my much-anticipated "Good Job Jessica, You Taught Two Tiny Humans to Use the Toilet" Party.  Lily is napping without diapers now!!!  

*angel choir sings*

And you know what?  It happened just like all the smart moms in my life told me it was going to happen: exactly when Lily was ready for it to happen!  

I had started to dabble in the sticker-chart-motivation but I'm not convinced that's what got her excited.  She literally just looked at me one day and asked if she could wear panties for nap.  And I hesitated cause I'm an idiot control freak who didn't want to do extra laundry that day I wasn't sure she was ready.

But I chose to trust her and she woke up dry!  So we decided to roll with the sticker chart, but not hardcore.  The reward was going to see a movie with Daddy, which she was super excited about.  So we talked it up and got her even more excited about the popcorn-amazingness that would happen when she got ten stickers/dry naps.

Some days I forgot to let her pick out a sticker.  Some days she forgot to stay dry for her nap ;o)  But all in all I would say by the time we put that tenth sticker up this weekend she was pretty darn near trained to wear her big girl panties for naptime.  Whew.. what a relief!!!  

Potty training is such a long and complicated process.  But if there's anything I've learned about it along the way it's that it does me no good to try to force it.  And also that it doesn't matter much that I've kind of given up on cloth diapers. The hippie in me cringes so much.  But the busy mom in a busy season with a husband who has a broken thumb says, yep. Disposable diapers are awesome sometimes.  (But just so you know I still preach cloth 100% for the early years... we have literally saved thousands of dollars by doing that and I really did love those big diapy-butts!)

So now, between the two Monkeys, we're down to three diapers a day!

Good job Lily!  Thanks for giving us another excuse to go to a family movie!  (PS everyone, Hotel Transylvania was adorable!)

I Give Up. Again. But I'm Okay with It This Time

Nighttime diapers.  For both girls.  I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I'm not even using cloth!  And I'm giving "princess panties" (aka pull-ups) a try... doesn't seem very earth-momma of me.

It's hard for me to admit that my 3yo just can't handle panties at night.

It's also hard for me that I have all these great cloth diapers that I can only use during naps because both girls seem to think 12 hours is a long time to sit in their own pee at night.  Skin issues result.  Momma feels bad.  Cloth gets restricted to short uses.  Bummer.

But it's not a competition.  Though we parents often make it seem that way with our constant comparisons.  I can't MAKE my child use the bathroom at night.  I know... I've tried!

The pull-ups were a long shot.  But Lily just pees AND poops right in them without even attempting to use the potty. So we're probably just going to use up the "trial" pack I bought and that will be the end of it for now.

But I'm looking at the bright side!  I have two kids who are almost 100% good to go in big girl panties during the day. Sam has never had an accident outside of the home (knock on wood) and both are doing great at home.

Another huge plus: I have less pee-pee laundry to do and Lily isn't covered in her own grossness all night.  Which helps me sleep better at night, too.

I will try again in a few months with Lily at night... but the holidays are busy enough without having the stress of potty training battles.  So for now, we'll just keep it simple with diapers.

You win this time Lily.

This is how I found them the other day.  Lily taught Sam to take off her pajamas.  An awesome skill.  I'm just counting my lucky stars they decided to leave the diapers on.

These pictures are all from that same morning.  Pajamas off, diapers on, and apparently Lily found that I had left two pairs of leg warmers out and she decided to put them on :o) 

My silly little monkeys.  I just love 'em to pieces.  Even when they refuse to pee in the potty at night.  

I'm Not Gonna Make It. I'm Drowning in a Sea of Pee

So potty training Double Trouble is much harder than I imagined.

And in Lily's case, it's taking much longer than I thought!  I confess that I thought since she started this process (and was pretty good at it!) before two years old, that she'd be done by now.  I was so naive.  Sometimes it's hard for me to remember the wise advice that my nursing-major sister gave me this summer:  CHILL OUT.  She said pediatricians don't usually worry unless a child is still having nighttime bed wetting at 5 years (or even up to seven years with boys!). But still...

I'm in the potty-training-trenches and it stinks.  Literally.  This is one of those times where I think I was crazy to want my kids back to back like this.  WHAT WAS I THINKING?  Between the 2yo and a 3yo and there is just pee... everywhere...

I changed Lily's sheets twice in the middle of the night last night... and she hasn't even woken up for the day yet so I'll probably be changing them again in less than an hour.  I haven't had to regularly wake up with a crying kid in the middle of the night in over a year and a half... and I'm not handling it that well :o\  I have Sam's potty shenanigans to deal with during the day (does the kid have a peanut-sized bladder?  Cause I swear she's on the pot every two minutes) and then Lily's pee-issues to handle during what is supposed to be their sleep time.

I'm so tired.  

So guess what?  I'm planning a party.  I have to.  For my own sanity.  I have to plan this party and cling to the hope that it will happen sometime in the next year and a half.  And it will be a glorious celebration... it will be my "Good Job Jessica, You Taught Two Tiny Humans to Use the Toilet" Party.  As soon as we finally and officially ditch the diapers, man.  It's on.

I'm not sure yet if dads will be invited, but kids sure as heck can't come.  I will ship mine to their grandmas if I have to. But I WILL get this night to myself.

There will be games.  (Pin the poop on the potty?  A dart board with a diaper in the middle??)
There will be treats.  (No-bake cookies look like poop, right?)
There will be drinks.  (Does anyone know of a big girl cocktail that's pee-colored?)
There will be decorations.  (I'm thinking a "clothesline" of panties.  Or a poster with an "X" through a diaper)

So ladies, if you live near me, consider this a Save the Date for my Potty Party... and I'm not even joking this is totally going to happen.  Unfortunately I won't be able to truly celebrate my triumph until both of them can use the potty 100% of the time.  So the party might not actually happen for like, five years.

But now at least I have something to look forward to.

Gotta go, I can hear one of them awake upstairs.  It's probably bath time for my pee-pee-princesses.

When you go to the bathroom today, think of your mom.  She worked so hard for weeks, months, maybe even years! to teach you that little trick.  Send her an email today telling her how much you love her!!!  I love you Linda Rawleigh!  Thanks for teaching me to pee-pee on the potty.  Now I know how much you probably wanted to gouge your eyes out.  XOXO

Pictures: Mommy AND the Girls

First, let me just fill you in on our morning so far.  This blog post is being started on the bathroom floor... though it will probably be finished on the kitchen counter because the bath can only distract them for so long ;o)  They were up at the ungodly hour of 6:15am this morning!  This is not normal for my 7:30/8 am risers.  But there's a good reason: MORE POTTY TRAINING.

The saga of the Potty Princess (original version) continues.  Jesse and I made an executive decision this weekend that we needed to give cold-turkey another try with Lily.  So she's going to bed sans diaper for both naps and bedtime.  I'm doing a lot of extra loads of laundry and she's getting lots of extra baths.  But we're going to give it some time cause we think she has it in her to master this.  She has access to the stool in the upstairs bathroom and she's much more independent on the potty than she was last time we tried this.  So we'll see if it works this time!  *fingers crossed*

Anyways, that's why they were both up before I'd even gotten a chance to get on the computer... instead of quietly sneaking into the bathroom to pee on her own Lily turned on their bedroom light and started talking to Sam about how she'd peed a little in her bed.  (Only a little this time instead of a lot, so that's good!)

So we're starting this Monday nice and early!  Thankfully, I was up early enough to get in a cup of coffee and prayer time.  With one more cuppa and an early nap for them, we should be able to survive the day!

Back to our regular scheduled broadcast...

My wonderful Mother-in-law posted this great article on facebook the other day and it really hit home in my heart. Because I know that, as a budding photographer, I have a much greater tendency to take pictures OF my kids but rarely get in pictures WITH them.  And I don't want that to become a habit.

So I put it into practice this week.  The above photo was taken by a stranger to document our trip to the Japanese Gardens aka "Fishy Park".  And I'm not wearing makeup.  And my hair is a bit messy after a hurried shower (at least I showered that day ha!) and the girls have grumpy faces on.  But I still love this photo.  And I know one day the girls will love it, too.

I took some with our pocket camera after a bath earlier in the week... I love bath time with them because when they get out they still want to snuggle with me.  And is there anything more cozy than a snuggly baby that smells squeaky clean?  Lily especially always says "Hold me like baby Momma" after baths.  It's a sweet little tradition.  And now I have a picture of it...

...and also of my pile of dirty yoga clothes on the window sill ;o)  It's a good picture of the reality of life right now.  I keep my workout stuff in the bathroom cause sometimes Jesse is sleeping when I need them.  So there they sit.

And then I messed around with the self-timer on the little camera so we could do a first-thing-in-the-morning photo shoot!  It was so fun!  We're all in our pajamas still and the girls smell like pee.  This is the story of my life right now... but we're still smiling!!!

This is the face I give Lily when I give her the "OKAY big girl, so you're going to stay dry this naptime, right?" pep talk...  "You're going to go pee in the potty NOT in your panties, right?  RIGHT?"

This is my favorite paragraph from that article... made me cry a little actually because I could really relate to her description of motherhood...

"Someday, I want them to see me, documented, sitting right there beside them: me, the woman who gave birth to them, whom they can thank for their ample thighs and their pretty hair; me, the woman who nursed them all for the first years of their lives, enduring porn star-sized boobs and leaking through her shirts for months on end; me, who ran around gathering snacks to be the week's parent reader or planning the class Valentine's Day party; me, who cried when I dropped them off at preschool, breathed in the smell of their post-bath hair when I read them bedtime stories, and defied speeding laws when I had to rush them to the pediatric ER in the middle of the night for fill-in-the-blank..."

And then she goes on to to vow to make sure she's "in the picture" more so that her kids actually SEE later on how Momma was there.  And I want that, too.  I want them to see us doing things together... special things AND every day things.  And I do want them to have evidence of how I looked when I was young... and how I looked at them when they were young.

So that's me.  Stepping out from behind the camera more often to say CHEESE with my girls.  And if you have small kids, you should, too!  Even if you haven't showered, yet ;o)

Potty Princess #2

There she is folks!  Our newest potty trainee!  It feels like just yesterday I was doing this with LJ.  Oh wait, it was!

We're at just over two weeks now... she's pretty consistent to get that pee-pee where it belongs.  Still has a hard time knowing what to do with poop.  It ends up in the panties, in the diaper, on the floor.  Who knows.  But since Lily is still having trouble in that area I'll cut Sam some slack.  

She is very proud of herself.  She's been doing so good that I'm almost ready to let her venture out into the wide world with those big girl panties of hers!   I think I'm also almost ready to ditch the mini-potty in our living room and let her graduate to the big girl potty with the potty-seat-attachment.  (How many times can I say the word *potty* in one blog post?  You know you're a Mom when...)

Ah, potty training.  The joy of knowing I'm teaching a small human a necessary life skill.  The joy of getting down and dirty (literally... pee on my hands.  Nothing makes me feel more like a woman...) in the important teaching moments of life.  "NO Sam!  Poopy goes ON THE POTTY!" as I grab paper towels to pick it up off the floor.  Awesome.

Seriously, it's a regular old potty-party around this house.  I feel like every five minutes one of them has to go.  Add to this that I have a notoriously small bladder... the bathroom is definitely our favorite room in the house lately.  Some days I feel like leaving them in diapers till their five would have been easier.  But then I remember that I cloth diaper and I'm super ready to be done with all that laundry.

Yep!  Potty training rocks.

Look, Sam's even teaching her Dolly how to go pee-pee in the "potty!"

Three cheers for cheesy-grins and being able to see a light at the end of the diapering-tunnel!

I Give Up. She Wins This Round

We called it quits on the cold-turkey potty-training.  Perhaps I was being a little ambitious.  Or maybe Lily's a little stubborn.  Sometimes I think she's more grown-up than she is.

It's hard, cause she seems so grown up at times.  But at other times, as all toddler-mommies know, you are reminded that she's still just a baby.  I mean, she might be enjoying taking the lead on walks... but just two years ago she was a smushy baby who couldn't do a blessed thing on her own. 

Two and a half years old is a little young to expect full potty training.  And she's GREAT during the day, even on outings.  But she's just not ready to handle all night in panties.  And that's okay.  I gave it a little over a week trial period... in which I washed two dirty sheets every day ;o)  In my defense, I was trying to get her fully potty trained before the grandparents come to babysit for our vacation.  It would have been easier for them if she was diaper-free.  But hey, it is what it is.  We'll give it another go later this summer.

In the meantime, tomorrow morning we're picking Aunt Cassie and cousin Zave up from the airport!  I can't wait to rub Cassie's baby belly (and say hi to my future niece for the first time!), squeeze my nephew, and sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee and the good conversation that always comes with time spent with my Sis-in-law.  

Potty Princess Update

On her throne.  Yes, those are Christmas socks.

Shoulda used flash for that first one, too.  Rats.  

And yes, that's snot running down her nose ;o)

The girl would like everyone to know she's pretty much a professional now.  I seriously don't remember the last pee-pee accident!  We still have a poopie-oopsie every so often... she's gone on the potty a few times but still prefers to save it for diapers.  But she's starting to learn that the uh, *urge* to go doesn't always come at convenient times ;o)  She'll figure it out.  

It's so cute when she communicates to us that she's gotta go pee... she gets all wiggly and whimpers and tugs at her undies.  Or runs to the kitchen door so I can open it and we run run run to the potty in the bathroom!  (Seeing her stand at the door reminds me of Luke, the family dog, who would just patiently wait by the door till someone noticed him... or until he couldn't hold it any longer and found some poor soul's bedroom ;o) )  

Well anyways, it's going great.  I'm so proud of her!  And even though it was a bit crazy those first two weeks, I'm super glad we did it.  Totally awesome to have less diapers to change!

Busy Busy Busy

I'm so naive ;o) 

I didn't realize that the term "potty training" was synonymous with "have no life and get behind on all your chores and other daily activities cause you'll be doing 8 million loads of laundry"... or "put a pause on everything cause you're watching that tiny hiney like a hawk"... or "feel a little stressed because you were a dummy and started this the same week you planned to host a 4th of July party on Saturday". 

Silly me!  But, for better or worse, we're on day 3 and I'm committed to seeing out the rest of the week and then reevaluating over the weekend.  So be aware that there might be a bit of a continued blog silence.  I *want* to show you all the cute pictures and tell you all the funny stories (not to mention finish telling you about the castle!) but we're a little too focused on pee-pee-ing in the potty these days to be able to devote much time to the internet. 

So till next time, think of me when you *don't* have to clean up toddler pee today.  And if you *are* cleaning up toddler pee, think of me and know that I sympathize with you 100%! :o)