Ode to Samantha | Happy 4th Birthday to my Baby

She usually has on this smile. She got it from me. It's huge. And contagious. 

She has the most incredible moo-cow lashes I've ever seen. She got em from her Daddy. I'm jealous.

She's an in-your-face kind of girl. She only has one volume. And it's not quiet ;-)

She wakes up early every day. But she loves to snuggle and give kisses and tell you she loves you.

She's really into unicorns. And dinosaurs. And Star Wars. And reading stories together.

She's a bit clumsy but not at all afraid to get dirty. She thinks snails are so beautiful.

She's curious, generous, silly, and affectionate.

She loves sparkles.

And she's very excited about being four.

Happy birthday to Miss Wiggly-Do-Da!

We love you so much!

Sleepy Sam | Slow Down, We've Got Time Left to be Lazy...

This is what mornings look like lately. [Courtesy of my iPod Touch.]

I've never been into co-sleeping. I don't know how baby #2s are born if baby #1 sleeps with mom and dad. But that's none of my business. All I know is that it's my business that neither of my babies shared a bed with us. The kids slept in their own spaces. 

(Now when they were teeny-tiny and needed breast-milk every five minutes, they slept in a pack 'n play in our room. But never in our bed.)

Things are different at this age. Now, my husband spends half of his time working shifts that means he doesn't even get to sleep at night with me. And both of our children are great sleepers. But they're just growing up so fast. On the weekends, I like to have lazy afternoon naps with them... I force them both to snuggle with me on the pull out couch in the toy room. And with J working nights, I try to stay up as late as I can and of course that means I don't really want to wake up early with the monkeys!

Sam has always been my snuggly-bug. And my morning-girl. Lily has always been the one who wants to sleep in. Who am I to argue if Sam wants to wake up early every day and come snuggle with me for an hour so BOTH Lily and I get to sleep in a little? (Sometimes she even falls back to sleep! Mostly she lets me fall back to sleep as long as I periodically rub her back!)

Try as I might I can't get Lily to come snuggle with me in the mornings. I guess she wants her own space and her own alone-time to power on for the day! To each her own :o)

So like I said, this is what morning have been looking like lately. Things will change soon when Daddy's on days again. But for now, this is the life! 

She's the BEST at Hide and Seek (ha.)

Oh Sammy. Always laughing. Never quiet. Not even when you're trying to hide ;o) 

Sammy's First Trip to Nina's!

So... I finally took Sam to get her hair cut! It was one of those "I really should have done this forever ago" things that you just never really get around to because you're a lazy human and you're just putting it in a ponytail most days anyways so who cares that it's a scraggly little rat's nest?

Just kidding, it wasn't really a rat's nest. Though it was nice to get her "her first hairs cut" finally, and it does look a lot more tidy!

Lily got a trim, too. Second time in her life haha. I was toying with the idea of shorter hair for both, like a shoulder-bob or something. Or maybe bangs for Sammy. But I wasn't ready to commit, so trims work for now!

Both girls were super pumped to play with the puppy while they waited for their turn :o)

Ta-da! Now all three Aiduk girls have had Nina cut their hair! And Mommy impressed Nina by asking "how much do I owe you?" in German, the girls impressed her by "counting" to ten in German (with help from Mommy haha) We like to show off ;o) 

Happy Monday from Germany!

She Just Wants to BE WITH ME.

Sam is teaching me a lot of lessons lately. Or rather, one main lesson... over and over. Because I can't seem to get that one lesson through my thick skull.

"Momma, hold me."

"Momma, I want to be wif you."

"Momma, please I be wif you?"

It breaks my heart how often I hear this. And I'm trying to really HEAR it you know? Like, not just hear it and give her a snack and send her packing to the toy room... but really hear it, and stop. SLOW DOWN. Hold her. Let her be with me.

Be with her.

A never ending internal battle. Who's more important, me or her? Me or Jesse? Me or Lily? My to-do list or my family?

Them. It's gotta be them! Those pudgy little hands just reaching out for a hug. I'm constantly working on stopping to be present.  

I don't like slowing down! AND I'm a slow learner. Such a bad combination ;o)

Like Butter Scraped Over too Much Bread

We made the decision that it would be best for our family if we sent BOTH girls to German Kindergarten starting this month.  And I'm even more excited about it than Sammy... which makes me feel guilty.  

[This is a confession post.  A reminder that I'm not "supermom".  It's not that big a deal, I'm just thinking out loud.  I'm having a bit of writer's block (and photographer's block) lately, so I just decided to sit down tonight and write what I've been thinking... no need to bombard me with encouragement about "how great of a mom I am"... again, just thinking out loud.  I know I'm exactly the right Momma for Lily and Sam.]

So starting on Monday, I'll be taking Double Trouble to preschool each morning and they'll stay there each afternoon until 2pm.  This, for those of you non-mommas out there, is an unfathomable amount of child-free time for me.  Like, I just can't quite wrap my head around it.

But I won't be jumping into any new hobbies or catching up on any big projects.  I won't be spending hours and hours growing my photography business or starting new creative ventures.

In fact, I'll probably be curled up in front of the fire next to My Love.  Because this month, mornings are his evenings, and that's the main reason Sam is going to school.

But there's something else...

It's not easy to admit you don't want your kids around all the time.  

I mean DUH even the most patient mom in the world doesn't want her kids around ALL the time.  But we don't usually say it out loud.  We say things like "I totally love being a stay-at-home-mom!" or "I can't WAIT to start homeschooling!" ... when, at least for myself, it would be more accurate to say "some days most days, my kids make me want to gouge my eyes out with their incessant preschool-ness" or "maybe... maybe I'm not cut out to homeschool my kids after all if I'm jumping up and down at the thought of them going to kindergarten for five hours...?"

Sometimes being a mom sucks.  Sometimes you wake up and realize you are doing a terrible job at balancing your priorities and everyone in the family is suffering for it.

Just keeping it real here ladies.  I post a lot about how much I love my kids and how much fun we have and all the cool projects we do and trips and blah blah BLAH... I don't post about the days I hate myself because I let my kids zombie out in front of 5 movies just because I didn't want to answer one. more. question.

In the spirit of this blog having a LOTR title theme, I'm going to agree with Bilbo... "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread."

I need to be a better best friend to my husband.  A less cranky, impatient mom to my girls.  And if German kindergarten can help with that, so be it.

I haven't completely given up on homeschooling... I sure do LOVE the idea.  But I've embraced the fact that homeschooling would be a bad fit for me right now, and therefore a bad fit for my family.

Also, let's be honest, kindergarten is essentially organized PLAYTIME and the girls are going to LOVE it!  The cultural exposure is going to be awesome for them.  EVERYONE wins in this situation!  Time to embrace outsourcing and let my kids drain a bit of energy out of someone else M-F.  It will give me some seriously needed time.

Time to reconnect with my husband, when he's home.  (Lunch dates!  A quiet house!  WOOT!)  Time to reconnect with myself, when he's not.  (Photography!  Reading!  WOOT!)  Time to grocery shop without stressful interruptions.  Time to cook and clean and otherwise be a domestic goddess... so that when my monkeys ARE home in the afternoon, I'm ready for them.

I want to be ready for story time and play dough and crafts and Mommy's-actually-available-for-you time.  

I'm hoping for less statements like "No, Momma can't play with you I need to finish the dishes before dinner prep" and more PLAYTIME because the dishes will be done and the dinner will be in the slow cooker.

I'll still feel guilty sometimes.  It's probably a mom-thing.  We sure do beat ourselves up over the decisions we make, don't we?  Even though we know sometimes our expectations are unrealistic and cause unnecessary stress on the family... we still feel like we disappoint (ourselves, if not them) when we can't be supermom.

So hey if anyone out there is feeling 50% excited and 50% guilty about a parenting decision that's going to make your life so much easier, I'm right there with ya.  Right now, I'm re-learning that making my marriage a priority over my preschoolers is going to benefit them far more than any homeschooling awesomeness I could come up with.  And I'm reminding myself that it's totally okay that I can't keep up with the energy level of a 3 and 4-year-old right now!

What are you learning or re-learning?  High-five to you tired moms out there.  Hang in there, you're doing great.  Need proof? just look at the way your little one lights up when you're around.  Those suckers totally love us, no matter WHAT we decide to do about preschool!  

Happy #3 to the Baby

This girl.  I don't even know what to do with her sometimes.  Always on the run, always getting into trouble.  And never ever EVER sitting still!

Happy birthday to Miss Wiggly-do-da!

  

I had a hard time really interviewing her because whenever I tried, she just copied whatever Lily was saying (or doing) at the moment (story of her life)... but I'll try to fill in the blanks since I'm the Mom and all ;o)

Favorite color:  Definitely orange.

Favorite movie:  Not only the dinosaur movie (Land Before Time) but the Dinosaur Magic School Bus Episode.  And the movie Dinosaurs (yeeeeah she really likes dinos)

Favorite song:  She likes to sing along with Mup-ford-sons (Mumford & Sons) "I Will Wait"

Favorite stuffed animal:  Iris, her Build-a-Bear.

Favorite book:  That's a tough one... girl really loves to snuggle and read, but I haven't noticed a recent favorite.  She used to make me read the crap out of Fancy Nancy the Posh Puppy, because she wants a puppy.  (Last time we talked about it, she specifically wants an orange one the sweet thing)

Which reminds me that she has a Favorite request:  "Please you hold me?"  She loves to snuggle!  And sometimes she just needs a quick hug, that reassurance of your love, before heading back to play time.  And she's big into asking you to rub her back, it's so cute!

Happy Happy Birthday to Samma-lamma, Sammy-whammy... My Monkey.  We love you so much Miss Smiley Face!

I Love My Sparkly New Baby and Sam Loves the "Toys" it Comes With

Ta-da!!!  My Love told me "good things come to those who wait" and I didn't really believe him because I hate waiting.  But he sure did deliver on his promise to find me a good, reliable vehicle!  This shiny new [to us] 2012 Ford Focus is named "LOLa"... you say it like low-la but you definitely have to write it LOLa because she's named for the goofy guy who sold it to us and the fact that he listed his car on Ramstein Yard Sales and used "lol" in a sentence.  So we LOLed at him and named the car LOLa.

Anyways I'm also calling LOLa our first "big kid car" because it's the first time in our lives we've spent more than $3,000 on a car.  GO US!  Did you know, when you spend more than $3,000 on a car, that it comes with all sorts of fancy things like power locks, power windows, cruise control, and...

...panic buttons.  Why, oh why, do they make those buttons red?  It's like they're asking for every child on the planet to pleasepressthisbutton.  Like seriously look at it?  If you had a choice, which one would you press?  Duh.

Sammy, bless her heart, made sure that everyone in the neighborhood was well aware of our  new car situation.  First thing this morning, LOLa's first full day at home, I was giving the girls a bath.  Sam was dressed first so I sent her out to wait for us in the living room.  As I'm washing Lily's hair I hear a car alarm go off.  And I think "oh, that sucks, someone's car alarm is going off before 8am on a Saturday."  And then Jesse slams out of the bedroom and down the hall and I think "oh, that's our car. crap."

So yeah.  The panic button works great.  Other than that I'm not really a car person, so I can't give you any real stats.  But I can tell you that I love bright red.  And I love that this thing is *pretty much* guaranteed not to break down on me any time in the near future (side eye to the Saturn and Mercedes) soooooo it's basically the bestest most awesomest car ever.  In my opinion.

Get Ready for Some Cuteness

If you're related to this kid, you should probably sit down.  You are about to get hit with a potentially lethal dose of Sammy-cuteness.  Don't say I didn't warn you!

I'm slowly but surely working through my edits of our mini family vacation to the Keukenhof Gardens in the Netherlands... but I just had to stop and share these before I head to bed tonight.  There was a petting zoo and AHHHH it was so CUTE!!!

Side note: photo credit goes to Jesse for this entire sequence of shots.  I didn't do anything besides a tiny bit of editing.  Oh, and that's my shadow in this picture.  Because apparently I'm that much of a momma-bear that I can't leave my 2-year-old alone with a killer lamb.  Hey you never know!  (Actually it's more likely that I was afraid said 2yo would hurt the little dude.  Gentleness ain't her thing.)

"Hey little dude.  How's it going?  Sorry I called you a 'puppy' earlier.  I was just so excited I forgot my farm animal lessons.  But I know you.  You say BAAAAA."

 Awwww!

EEEEEEK!!!

GAH!  This is my favorite!  Little baby sheep just snuggling with my (not so little) baby monkey.  I can hardly stand it!  Make it stop!

Speaking of sheep.  I'm going to go count some.

Till next time...

Wordless Wednesday: Smiley Sunny Sammy

From Baldy to Mullet to Ponytail(s)

Apparently my daughters were both doomed to be bald in their early years.  And Sammy followed in her sister's footsteps... I was asked "aw what's his name?" far more often than I care to admit.  Which is probably why my kids are usually dressed in obnoxiously pink/girly attire.  

Here Sam is at one week old.  Smiley and bald.

Here she is the summer we moved to Germany.  Not quite a year old.  Still bald.  So, so bald.  But look at those gorgeous Sammy eyes and that bright big smile that I get to enjoy every day!  And also the drool on the chin.  Man, those were drooly days!

And here she is at her first birthday.  Just starting to have a bit more peach fuzz up top there.  And then.  Then something bad happened: it's called a baby mullet.  There wasn't much I could do about it besides contemplate cutting it off... but she had worked so hard to grow that little tuft of curly hair in the back of her head that kind of made her look like a trailer trash baby.  

So I left the mullet to grow.  And it was kind of ugly for a little while.  But then it finally got to the magical length of ponytail adorableness!  At long last, my Monkey had enough hair for pigtails!  

Here she is this past summer (stubby and unimpressive at first) and then again this past week (so fluffy!)  My kid has hair!  Bye-bye baldy-baby!

It wasn't until I could put it in one ponytail at the back that I felt like she really ended the era of baldy/mulletness.  Now she looks girly, without a doubt.  And can we talk about how much much much easier it is to wrestle Miss Wiggly Do-Da into one ponytail rather than two?  Much easier!  

I would say "sniff sniff, they grow so quickly" but, in the case of their hair... they actually grow really really slow! ;o)

Bright Birthday Scrambled Eggies

 

The Birthday Girl had a fantastic day!  I think.  I mean, when you're two years old and there is any sort of day involving balloons and sugar, I don't see how it can't be the best. day. ever.

We did most of the traditions I mentioned after Lily's birthday, but I added a fun twist to our birthday breakfast... colored eggs! (thanks for the idea Leah!)

I put three eggs in each bowl (four people were eating) and added a decent amount of gel food coloring.  Whisked with a fork and then grabbed the other adult set of hands (thanks Kirsten!) to simultaneously pour all three colors in at once. (Make sure to oil and heat your pan first!)  Then I covered it and waited a few minutes for the colors to set a little before I started scrambling... I wanted the colors to stay as separate as possible.   Make sure you have the heat low. It takes longer this way, but it prevents your eggs from burning and I hear that real egg nerds claim it makes for a less rubbery scramble.  Once the eggs were starting to set I scrambled in each color section before mixing them all together.

It was kind of like eating play dough.  Which was probably a bit confusing for Sam since she's always getting into trouble for trying to sneak a taste during play dough time ;o)  But they tasted like regular old eggs and they looked fantastic next to the Fairy Bread!

A big thanks for all the well-wishes, cupcakes (by Kirsten), and presents.  We have the best collection of friends and family a two-year-old could ask for!